HALF DONE!

Had my checkup at PENN this week and my oncologist was in a good mood. :-P I told him last time he was grouchy and it did nothing for my attitude. Teehee. He is usually very pleasant, really! Anyway he pointed out that I am half done chemo! HOORAH! I had wondered, as I learned recently that many folks take this poison for years. OH MY. But as I suspected, these are folks who have some small tumors that are not surgically removable, and the Sutent can keep them the same size or shrink them / hold them at bay for long periods of time (this is a good thing!). Thankfully I have no visible tumors so there is no reason for me to continue the Sutent after "only" four more rounds. Yippee! There is still the nagging reality that this cancer can come back and hit me anytime for years to come, but I am trying to dwell on the fact that the longer it stays gone the better chance it will stay gone or that better treatments will be discovered for me if it does come back. Guess this is how optimists think, huh? :-O

I sort of have the hang of the side effects now and ways to handle them or make them more tolerable, know when I have had enough and gotta crash in bed early (not that I listen to myself much) and generally I am handling it ok, so they cut out my next 6 week visit and I can just get the bloodwork done locally and talk to them by phone. Then I will get another CT scan in 12 weeks and go for a visit for those results. And by then I will only have TWO rounds left!???!!!! COOL!

My white count is running a bit low again, my blood pressure is all over the place (mostly low) after messing w/ my BP med a lot because the chemo shoots it up, my feet and hands and mouth still do weird stuff..... but generally I think I can make it through. Thank you all for holding me up in prayer. God is sustaining me through the rough spots. I am really hoping I can keep a good attitude and "look on the bright side" more often, cancel the pity parties and hope for the future. That worry thing is really a drag.

We have a friend just diagnosed with colon cancer and my heart is going out to he and his wife, as well as another friend whose almost 20 years ago brain tumor returned and now has spread to bone in his hip and spine. Please add them to your prayers.

Ethan is doing well post-op after about 36 hours of stupor from the anesthesia and a good bit of pain, but he is a great sport about it all and is doing much better now. He has 3 pins in his wrist and a big splint, which will then be 8 weeks of casts and another splint but we hope he is good as new by summer! Charles continues PT and is almost free of back pain now but has a lot of nerve weakness in his R leg still being worked on. The legal mess continues but our lawyer is working on some things to move it ahead a little faster than a snails pace, which I guess is some sort of improvement? Meanwhile we know God is with us and He is providing enough to manage day by day, for which we are so thankful.

Thank you so much for standing by us in the storm,
Karen

ALL CLEAR!

What a relief! I had to call my family doctor because I have had a rash / hives since the CT scan on Wednesday. The oncology nurse practitioner felt it was unlikely related to the CT scan dye but I wasn't so sure and I still have the rash today so I called my family doctor. She waited to hear the story of the rash and then said by the way I know I am not supposed to tell you this until you see oncology next Thursday but your CT scan was all clear again! She read me parts of the report to make sure I really believed her. :-)

Praise God. I was so nervous about this scan this time! I am so thankful not to have to wait till next week for the results.

I do have to be careful now about a possible allergy to the CT scan dye but we will deal with that in 3 months when I get my next scan.

Thank you all for praying me along this winding road.

Karen

Done Round Four

Thank you for STILL reading my blog, and more importantly, for PRAYING for me! I took 2 days off before Christmas to "lighten up" this round of chemo as my feet were hurting pretty badly in the first 11 days or so. That helped a LOT. Still by yesterday when I finished this round I was dragging, mouth weird, hands and feet hurting a little - but not too bad. My body has definitely adjusted to it somewhat and it is tolerable although not a breeze. Worth it if it saves my life, that's for sure. I read recently that some people stay on this med for years! RATS. I was really counting on stopping after 12 months..... I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there. :-(

Had my labs today, and will have my every 3 month CT scan on Wednesday. I admit I have been dreading this one too much, really struggling with fear that something will be found on the CT this time. I will not have the results until January 17th when I see my oncologist at Penn. Please pray that I can turn this worrying around in the future. I don't want to live with this black cloud hanging over me for the rest of my life. It will still always be there. I have to learn to ignore it, or live with it, or look at it's silver lining... or somethin' !!! Otherwise I am going to drive my poor husband bonkers with my worrying! My daughter gave me a great book on living in cancer's shadow and it has already started to change my outlook a bit. I do think it's understandable that occasionally I feel "down" but I can't let it consume me. Pray I don't have these "slumps" too often. Thank you so much!

Ethan's wrist surgery is on January 15th. Please pray they can use a bone graft from his radius (arm) and will not have to use his hip bone, and for a successful surgery, fast healing, little pain. Ethan has been great through the CT scan, MRI, 2nd opinion MD and 3 visits with the surgeon stuff. He took all the surgical news well, even studied the surgical photos I printed off about the procedure and kept comforting ME about it all! He didn't react negatively to ANYTHING about this until they told him he wouldn't be able to eat or drink after midnight the night before surgery! HAHA! That's a 14 yr old boy for ya! :-)

Our Christmas was really nice, in spite of our current "troubles". So many people reached out to us! We even had "secret santas" from another state who we didn't even know, send gifts to us all!!!!!! We were overwhelmed! In addition some Kohl's and Target and Visa gift cards showed up - some anonymously... and many cards and notes of encouragement kept our hopes up and allowed us to enjoy the season. It was hard for me at times as that dumb worry monster kept creeping in, but most hours of most days my mind was on my family and caring for them, which is right were I love to be. :-)

We are back to homeschool now after the Christmas break, still catching up on all the business bookkeeping and so on too. As Evan said today, "It's never a dull moment here is it Mommy?" Thank you all so much for sticking by us for the long haul. Please keep praying for the insurance case - it DRAGS on.... I am too tired of that to even write about it.....

Love,
Karen