We met with my kidney surgeon today. As my oncologist warned might happen, and we suspect will concur with, the surgeon wants to wait three months to see if this mysterious spot really is growing / really is cancer. For now it is of no immediate danger and is too small to spread yet if it is cancer. And... maybe it isn't? Maybe...... :-/
Removing the new nodule by "freezing it, cooking it, or cutting it out" (oi vey!), presents too much risk of possibly damaging my only kidney, than the threat this 1cm nodule poses at this point, by leaving it alone and watching it to see if it changes or not, and if so how quickly. He said that the possibility of metastisis from the first cancer, since it was massively huge (15.5 cm as opposed to this one which is 1cm - and we KNOW that the first one definitely spread to my lung before) is still a more likely threat, than is this new spot on my other kidney for now. Kidney cancer can spread up to 15 years after the first occurrence. There is no statute of limitations. The lung spots, if they are cancer, would be mets from the first tumor 4.5 years ago, not from this new kidney nodule, and the lung nodules are not growing at all right now. So, we wait, and see what all these things look like in 3 months. MAYBE the lung and kidney nodules are all cancer or maybe they are not .... we just don't know yet. SIGH.
I know God wants me to learn to just trust HIM for the future and stop trying to control everything!!!! :-( He is giving me the message loud and clear that I just have to WAIT and TRUST that whatever the future holds; I am not in charge of it. He is.
For many years when I saw the "Serenity Prayer" I just didn't GET IT . Now I know that I need to read it over and over all day long! Please pray I will learn to just rest in God's control and not my own.
"God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference."
Thank you for praying for me. I certainly need it!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Rough Day
Thursday was a hard day for our family as I learned that my periodic follow-up MRIs showed a 1cm 'nodule' on my left, and only, kidney. There is near certainty that this will be cancer as was the tumor which caused me to lose my right kidney 4 1/2 years ago. Most likely it is a new cancer, not a metastases, from what the oncologist said. So, both of my kidneys, it now appears, are prone to producing cancer cells. but I do not, however, carry the gene for a genetic predisposition to kidney cancer (my biological children are thankful for THAT!) The right kidney tumor was 15.5 cm when discovered, and had spread to a 1cm mets on my R lower lung. This one is MUCH smaller, which is certainly a praise, but of course no tumors are good news.
I will see my kidney surgeon at Lankenau next week. He had already seen the report that was cc'd to him before hearing from my Penn Oncologist today. They both will be gathering information and discussing options. The Penn Doc knows and has great respect for my Lankenau surgeon which was comforting. If necessary I will seek other opinions also. Since the 'nodule' is small, we are hopeful that it has not metastasized and can be removed relatively easily. However, since I only have one kidney it is vitally important that my kidney tissue and function be preserved as much as possible and that surgery be conservative and extremely well planned and thought out.
In addition I have had 3 measurable (2mm, 3mm, 3mm) spots on my R and L upper lung x 3 scans since April, which have not changed in size at all, plus 2 spots they call "ditzels" meaning they are almost too small to measure. All of the lung spots are still too small to be biopsied or removed, These may be nothing, as benign lung spots are not that uncommon, and they have not changed in size in the last 7-8 months. However, in light now of the kidney nodule, these are also now under more suspicion. So, we will be watching the lung spots even more closely, and reconsidering as we go along, what if any action needs to be taken about them.
There is a lot we don't know yet, and taking it one day at a time will be VERY hard. But, what we DO know is that God is still God, and that He loves us, and that He will use this trial, along with many other trials our family has faced in the last 5 or so years, for HIS GLORY and to refine and strengthen our faith. Please pray for me and for my family, that we would learn the lessons God continues to teach us and that we would depend on Him for our joy, no matter what our circumstances.
I am grateful today for our medical insurance and the excellent doctors and hospitals I am blessed to have access to, and most importantly for loving friends and family who surround us and pray for us.
Thank you all so much!
Karen
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
~Romans 15:13
I will see my kidney surgeon at Lankenau next week. He had already seen the report that was cc'd to him before hearing from my Penn Oncologist today. They both will be gathering information and discussing options. The Penn Doc knows and has great respect for my Lankenau surgeon which was comforting. If necessary I will seek other opinions also. Since the 'nodule' is small, we are hopeful that it has not metastasized and can be removed relatively easily. However, since I only have one kidney it is vitally important that my kidney tissue and function be preserved as much as possible and that surgery be conservative and extremely well planned and thought out.
In addition I have had 3 measurable (2mm, 3mm, 3mm) spots on my R and L upper lung x 3 scans since April, which have not changed in size at all, plus 2 spots they call "ditzels" meaning they are almost too small to measure. All of the lung spots are still too small to be biopsied or removed, These may be nothing, as benign lung spots are not that uncommon, and they have not changed in size in the last 7-8 months. However, in light now of the kidney nodule, these are also now under more suspicion. So, we will be watching the lung spots even more closely, and reconsidering as we go along, what if any action needs to be taken about them.
There is a lot we don't know yet, and taking it one day at a time will be VERY hard. But, what we DO know is that God is still God, and that He loves us, and that He will use this trial, along with many other trials our family has faced in the last 5 or so years, for HIS GLORY and to refine and strengthen our faith. Please pray for me and for my family, that we would learn the lessons God continues to teach us and that we would depend on Him for our joy, no matter what our circumstances.
I am grateful today for our medical insurance and the excellent doctors and hospitals I am blessed to have access to, and most importantly for loving friends and family who surround us and pray for us.
Thank you all so much!
Karen
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
~Romans 15:13
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