Wrist Trouble

Sorry I might not have replied to some emails and maybe even calls - I am a bit snowed under lately with so much to do....started chemo Monday and was making hay while the sun shined with every minute booked for the last 2 weeks.

Took Ethan to a hand specialist today for a nagging sore wrist. He fell on it in late August and about every 3 weeks or so he would mention that it bothered him. In all the hubbub around here I finally realized it wasn't getting better and went to the pediatrician who said it was probably a sprain, then hand doc was out of town for a few weeks, and now we finally went to our appt and ...

IT IS BROKEN!!!! ARGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

And since we didn't catch it early when a cast might have worked he is likely now going to need a bone graft / screw / and pins. ARGH ARGH ARGH. In my defense the doc said they see this a LOT with this type of fracture as they are barely noticable sometimes, and then they do not heal right, etc. I looked up lots of articles on line (scaphoid nonunion fracture) and the surgery suggested, etc, is right down the line exactly what the doc said. We might get a second opinion but this doc is highly recommended and all that he said makes perfect sense. He was not pushy, offered that we get a second opinion from a pediatric hand specialist and such. But the xray shows clearly even to my inexperienced eye that the break is not healing and the edges are calcifying without knitting together. The danger in "letting it go" is that the detached bone could die off from lack of blood flow or the fracture could displace and so on.

Ethan has a CAT scan of the wrist tomorrow to evaluate the damage to the blood flow to the broken piece, etc. Not sure if we can get the surgery in before Christmas but I sure would like him healed up as soon as possible - and recovery sounds like 2-3 months at least. :-( He will have a screw and probably two pins. A splint and then a cast post-op and a short surgery to remove the pins after the cast is off. He was to join a homeschool volleyball team in January and that is shot for this year, and he will have to stop archery too. :-(

Thanks all, for listening to my tale of woe...... I feel SO BAD about my son needing surgery for something possibly because I didn't act on it for him sooner. There is a chance that even with casting it might not have healed, but I still feel bad.

I am dreading Christmas on chemo and pushing myself hard to get ahead of it all so if you could pray for me on that too I would really appreciate it. Charles' back is slowly improving and boy do we need him better asap so please pray for him too. He is in PT three times a week.

Thank you!
Karen

ps - Bet every family doesn't have their own personal hand / arm surgery specialist like we do... this is our FOURTH kid - if you count Charles as a kid..... to use this doctor in the last 5 years or so... ?????? What is THAT about ????

Not too bad

Ok I finished round 3 of chemo. It was better than the prior round but still not a walk in the park! The last post to the blog I had shared that I was feeling remarkably well at the end of wk 2. It did start backsliding again for wk 3 and 4 but definitely did not get as bad as the prior month. Saw Dr Flaherty at Penn and he said to expect that this is now the level of side effects that will remain, he doubts it will improve much. He was surprised at that mid-cycle improvement. I told him it must have been the yummy, healthy birthday meal that my kids made for me, from a "chemotherapy foods" cookbook. The carrot ginger soup was delicious as was everything else. I had carrot soup leftovers for several days - my theory is that is was "healing food!" But, by the end of wk 4 I was exhausted by 7 pm each evening and my feet were calloused and peeling in several spots but not painful like they had been the prior cycle. So I consider that an improvement! My joints ached a bit but were not as incapacitating as the prior cycle - I was able to drive the kids to activities, cook, etc till the very end.

As the chemo ended I was thrust into high gear because Charles injured his lower back pretty badly and began to have a lot of pain down his leg and in this thigh and hip, numbness down his leg, difficulty walking etc. He has not had a good night sleep in about 2 weeks as he is up and down all night, trying to walk, sit, toss or turn. He has seen the doctor twice now and tried 2 different courses of meds - the first round last week did nothing and he just got worse. This round seems to be helping a little and he starts Physical Therapy this evening.

Our attorney sent a new letter to our insurance company with all the clarifications of the policy and basically TOLD them they don't have a leg to stand on. We are waiting for a reply which I am SURE will be at least 30 days away as they always stall as long as they possibly can. We also appealed the trucking company verdict as we feel it is totally unfair but mostly because this is the only way to get the judge to put her reasons in writing so that we know how to proceed. Please pray that we soon see action on both this issues.

We are entering this Christmas season trying to keep our "chins up". Please pray with us that we could continue to do and be all that God would want of us in spite of the ongoing trials of life. We are so so TIRED. Our kids need us and we have to keep going no matter how we feel. We are trying to prep for Christmas as much as we can in advance. We got the tree up last weekend - maybe the earliest ever!

I start my next round of chemo on Dec 10th and so will be in the "lousy" weeks for Christmas Week and New Years Week, when we have to do our store inventory and the fiscal year bookkeeping corrections and balancing which is always an exhausting process. Please pray I will manage my time well and protect my health by getting enough rest etc during this very busy time. I am feeling pretty pressured right now with Charles not feeling well and so much to do before the chemo hits me over the head again!

My rib area which I injured in mid November is finally getting a lot better. I can move and breath deeply again without pain, although the area is still tender. My oncologist was not concerned but I will still be relieved to get the "all clear" on my next CAT scan, which will be around January 8th or 9th. I still do have waves of fear that the cancer is coming back and that is why I had the rib pain... or that I might not be here for next Christmas..... :-( Please pray that I can allow myself to trust the Lord completely with my life. After all, my worrying isn't going to change anything!

Thank you all so much,
Karen

PRAISE!

I am excited! About Tuesday of this week the usual med side effects started to reverse themselves, even though I am in week three of chemo and they usually would have continued to build up through the end of next week! My feet feel a lot better, my mouth feels a lot better, my joints are working a lot better! I still have some soreness from the rib injury thing I had last week so that is a bit achy, but much improved. And I just generally FEEL better, instead of that flu-like thing I was putting up with! I am hopeful that this marks the beginning of my body adjusting to the medication, and learning to tolerate it better from now on.

Praise God with me, please! And ask the Lord to allow this trend to continue. :-) I would be so grateful to feel this well for the remainder of the treatment. Charles tells me still not to overdo, so I guess pray that I would do better with that too :-/ Resting is not my gift......

Thank you all,
Karen

Round 3 Week 3:

Ok. I am into week three the third time around now. Guess that makes me some sort of expert on Sutent therapy now! Haha. I still can't completely predict how I will feel but have a better idea of what to expect. It seems the side effects roll on and off. What happened the first month seems to phase out a bit, then a new fun side effect kicks in. The third month seems to be doing that same pattern. GI upset is a little better and my mouth hasn't been as sore yet. I am getting the flu-like aching muscles and joints, especially my hip joints but I am managing ok so far. The swelling of the soles of my feet was the worst side effect last round and it is starting to get me this time around too, but mostly on only one foot so far. Last month's swelling caused thick callouses, which then fell off, leaving raw areas, one of which, about the size of a nickel, is now swelling and getting very sore. I can still drive but walking is pretty uncomfortable. They say too much walking will make it worse so I am trying not to do marathon grocery shopping for the rest of this cycle!

Last week I still had a little of the congestion left from that respiratory infection and coughed a bit, not real hard, but I must have been twisting or something at the time and I felt something pop in my rib cage - OUCH. It created a sharp pain within a few minutes that remained fairly painful for most of last week. I felt like I was 6 weeks post-op again. At first I thought I cracked a rib or pulled a hole in my lung or something. I couldn't draw a deep breath in to cough anymore, or breathe deeply, or lie on my back in bed without extreme pain. I was tempted to dig out the narcotics from my first days post-op! I saw my family doctor after a few days and she felt it could be a broken rib or a strain of the muscles that are still fragile connecting that space where my 9th rib was removed. If it wasn't better by today (Monday) she wanted me to have an xray. I was glad I had recently had a negative CAT scan (Hope I reported that on the blog?), because that helped me not to get too nutty with worry. It has finally eased up though, and I feel a lot better today. It is still sore but I can breathe deeply and move around almost normally again. Praise God! I still do not like the feeling of being "fragile". I had been trying to do all I could to care for all my normal responsibilities but I can see that I need to be a little bit more careful. My kids love to help - I will have to let them!

So, I guess I am in this chemo /targeted therapy routine now. I can start to predict when I will feel lousy and schedule things around that. One friend asked me how many rounds I have LEFT. WOW what a great way to look at it. I have to do 8 or 9 rounds. I am in round 3. So maybe I should start to count DOWN - only 5 or 6 rounds left! :-) CAT scans are every 3 months for the first year, which give me some reassurance that no cancer is coming back .... at least not yet. Please continue to PRAY that the Lord would completely heal me, and allow me more years on this earth. I just had my 50th birthday - most women might try to ignore that but I am happy to get this far, and praying that I get to see a few more decades on earth. Getting old is seeming like a great idea lately! :-)

If you read the last blog entry I hope you saw the mode we are in, the place God seems to have us in.... WAIT.... wow is this biggest my weakness. I never have been good at waiting, and even worse at not knowing what will happen next. I am a planner! Well all of that has been changed in my life without my consent, and I do NOT like it! I am trying to learn my lessons though, and wait on the Lord. We were very sad that the judge ruled that we have to accept that low settlement from the trucking company that our former lawyer agreed to without our ok. We had to just emotionally detach from that for a week or so lest we really loose all hope. But, we are moving forward with this new information and trying to figure out what to do next. We are going to appeal as that is the only way to get an explanation from the judge as to the reasons for her decision. Then we will see if there is more that we can do on the trucking company case.

The other issue is the business insurance settlement, which is still not happening either. We have 4 experts on our side now (accountant, insurance agent, 2 attorneys). We are trying to arrange a meeting with all of these godly and concerned men, to help us sort this out and decide what we can do to reach a fair settlement. Please pray that we can find a time SOON when all 4 can meet, and that the Lord will show us the best way to proceed.

We have been blessed in so many ways these last few weeks. We were really to a point of utter despair for a while and I feared we would not survive financially or emotionally, but we were lifted up by the kindness of so many people, with cards and groceries and loving care. God knows who you are even though in some cases WE don't even know! THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH for lifting us up from the pit. HE has provided a ray of hope. More than anything, I thank you for remembering us in prayer, and coming back to read my LONG entries!

Last but not least, a friend who has been so kind and loving and caring to me since I got sick is now, herself, facing major surgery on Wednesday for probable ovarian cancer. Please pray for Deborah, her husband and two sons (the ages of my boys) and her extended family, many of whom do not know the Lord. Thank you so much.

Karen

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

by Russell Kelfer