I am excited! About Tuesday of this week the usual med side effects started to reverse themselves, even though I am in week three of chemo and they usually would have continued to build up through the end of next week! My feet feel a lot better, my mouth feels a lot better, my joints are working a lot better! I still have some soreness from the rib injury thing I had last week so that is a bit achy, but much improved. And I just generally FEEL better, instead of that flu-like thing I was putting up with! I am hopeful that this marks the beginning of my body adjusting to the medication, and learning to tolerate it better from now on.
Praise God with me, please! And ask the Lord to allow this trend to continue. :-) I would be so grateful to feel this well for the remainder of the treatment. Charles tells me still not to overdo, so I guess pray that I would do better with that too :-/ Resting is not my gift......
Thank you all,
Karen
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Round 3 Week 3:
Ok. I am into week three the third time around now. Guess that makes me some sort of expert on Sutent therapy now! Haha. I still can't completely predict how I will feel but have a better idea of what to expect. It seems the side effects roll on and off. What happened the first month seems to phase out a bit, then a new fun side effect kicks in. The third month seems to be doing that same pattern. GI upset is a little better and my mouth hasn't been as sore yet. I am getting the flu-like aching muscles and joints, especially my hip joints but I am managing ok so far. The swelling of the soles of my feet was the worst side effect last round and it is starting to get me this time around too, but mostly on only one foot so far. Last month's swelling caused thick callouses, which then fell off, leaving raw areas, one of which, about the size of a nickel, is now swelling and getting very sore. I can still drive but walking is pretty uncomfortable. They say too much walking will make it worse so I am trying not to do marathon grocery shopping for the rest of this cycle!
Last week I still had a little of the congestion left from that respiratory infection and coughed a bit, not real hard, but I must have been twisting or something at the time and I felt something pop in my rib cage - OUCH. It created a sharp pain within a few minutes that remained fairly painful for most of last week. I felt like I was 6 weeks post-op again. At first I thought I cracked a rib or pulled a hole in my lung or something. I couldn't draw a deep breath in to cough anymore, or breathe deeply, or lie on my back in bed without extreme pain. I was tempted to dig out the narcotics from my first days post-op! I saw my family doctor after a few days and she felt it could be a broken rib or a strain of the muscles that are still fragile connecting that space where my 9th rib was removed. If it wasn't better by today (Monday) she wanted me to have an xray. I was glad I had recently had a negative CAT scan (Hope I reported that on the blog?), because that helped me not to get too nutty with worry. It has finally eased up though, and I feel a lot better today. It is still sore but I can breathe deeply and move around almost normally again. Praise God! I still do not like the feeling of being "fragile". I had been trying to do all I could to care for all my normal responsibilities but I can see that I need to be a little bit more careful. My kids love to help - I will have to let them!
So, I guess I am in this chemo /targeted therapy routine now. I can start to predict when I will feel lousy and schedule things around that. One friend asked me how many rounds I have LEFT. WOW what a great way to look at it. I have to do 8 or 9 rounds. I am in round 3. So maybe I should start to count DOWN - only 5 or 6 rounds left! :-) CAT scans are every 3 months for the first year, which give me some reassurance that no cancer is coming back .... at least not yet. Please continue to PRAY that the Lord would completely heal me, and allow me more years on this earth. I just had my 50th birthday - most women might try to ignore that but I am happy to get this far, and praying that I get to see a few more decades on earth. Getting old is seeming like a great idea lately! :-)
If you read the last blog entry I hope you saw the mode we are in, the place God seems to have us in.... WAIT.... wow is this biggest my weakness. I never have been good at waiting, and even worse at not knowing what will happen next. I am a planner! Well all of that has been changed in my life without my consent, and I do NOT like it! I am trying to learn my lessons though, and wait on the Lord. We were very sad that the judge ruled that we have to accept that low settlement from the trucking company that our former lawyer agreed to without our ok. We had to just emotionally detach from that for a week or so lest we really loose all hope. But, we are moving forward with this new information and trying to figure out what to do next. We are going to appeal as that is the only way to get an explanation from the judge as to the reasons for her decision. Then we will see if there is more that we can do on the trucking company case.
The other issue is the business insurance settlement, which is still not happening either. We have 4 experts on our side now (accountant, insurance agent, 2 attorneys). We are trying to arrange a meeting with all of these godly and concerned men, to help us sort this out and decide what we can do to reach a fair settlement. Please pray that we can find a time SOON when all 4 can meet, and that the Lord will show us the best way to proceed.
We have been blessed in so many ways these last few weeks. We were really to a point of utter despair for a while and I feared we would not survive financially or emotionally, but we were lifted up by the kindness of so many people, with cards and groceries and loving care. God knows who you are even though in some cases WE don't even know! THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH for lifting us up from the pit. HE has provided a ray of hope. More than anything, I thank you for remembering us in prayer, and coming back to read my LONG entries!
Last but not least, a friend who has been so kind and loving and caring to me since I got sick is now, herself, facing major surgery on Wednesday for probable ovarian cancer. Please pray for Deborah, her husband and two sons (the ages of my boys) and her extended family, many of whom do not know the Lord. Thank you so much.
Karen
Last week I still had a little of the congestion left from that respiratory infection and coughed a bit, not real hard, but I must have been twisting or something at the time and I felt something pop in my rib cage - OUCH. It created a sharp pain within a few minutes that remained fairly painful for most of last week. I felt like I was 6 weeks post-op again. At first I thought I cracked a rib or pulled a hole in my lung or something. I couldn't draw a deep breath in to cough anymore, or breathe deeply, or lie on my back in bed without extreme pain. I was tempted to dig out the narcotics from my first days post-op! I saw my family doctor after a few days and she felt it could be a broken rib or a strain of the muscles that are still fragile connecting that space where my 9th rib was removed. If it wasn't better by today (Monday) she wanted me to have an xray. I was glad I had recently had a negative CAT scan (Hope I reported that on the blog?), because that helped me not to get too nutty with worry. It has finally eased up though, and I feel a lot better today. It is still sore but I can breathe deeply and move around almost normally again. Praise God! I still do not like the feeling of being "fragile". I had been trying to do all I could to care for all my normal responsibilities but I can see that I need to be a little bit more careful. My kids love to help - I will have to let them!
So, I guess I am in this chemo /targeted therapy routine now. I can start to predict when I will feel lousy and schedule things around that. One friend asked me how many rounds I have LEFT. WOW what a great way to look at it. I have to do 8 or 9 rounds. I am in round 3. So maybe I should start to count DOWN - only 5 or 6 rounds left! :-) CAT scans are every 3 months for the first year, which give me some reassurance that no cancer is coming back .... at least not yet. Please continue to PRAY that the Lord would completely heal me, and allow me more years on this earth. I just had my 50th birthday - most women might try to ignore that but I am happy to get this far, and praying that I get to see a few more decades on earth. Getting old is seeming like a great idea lately! :-)
If you read the last blog entry I hope you saw the mode we are in, the place God seems to have us in.... WAIT.... wow is this biggest my weakness. I never have been good at waiting, and even worse at not knowing what will happen next. I am a planner! Well all of that has been changed in my life without my consent, and I do NOT like it! I am trying to learn my lessons though, and wait on the Lord. We were very sad that the judge ruled that we have to accept that low settlement from the trucking company that our former lawyer agreed to without our ok. We had to just emotionally detach from that for a week or so lest we really loose all hope. But, we are moving forward with this new information and trying to figure out what to do next. We are going to appeal as that is the only way to get an explanation from the judge as to the reasons for her decision. Then we will see if there is more that we can do on the trucking company case.
The other issue is the business insurance settlement, which is still not happening either. We have 4 experts on our side now (accountant, insurance agent, 2 attorneys). We are trying to arrange a meeting with all of these godly and concerned men, to help us sort this out and decide what we can do to reach a fair settlement. Please pray that we can find a time SOON when all 4 can meet, and that the Lord will show us the best way to proceed.
We have been blessed in so many ways these last few weeks. We were really to a point of utter despair for a while and I feared we would not survive financially or emotionally, but we were lifted up by the kindness of so many people, with cards and groceries and loving care. God knows who you are even though in some cases WE don't even know! THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH for lifting us up from the pit. HE has provided a ray of hope. More than anything, I thank you for remembering us in prayer, and coming back to read my LONG entries!
Last but not least, a friend who has been so kind and loving and caring to me since I got sick is now, herself, facing major surgery on Wednesday for probable ovarian cancer. Please pray for Deborah, her husband and two sons (the ages of my boys) and her extended family, many of whom do not know the Lord. Thank you so much.
Karen
Monday, November 5, 2007
WAIT
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
by Russell Kelfer
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
by Russell Kelfer
Sunday, October 28, 2007
We Lost
In May we had a hearing in Phila court to try to stop our former attorney's agreement with the trucking company. Our complaint was that he agreed to the very low amount without our OK. In fact we were not even THERE - we had left and he was instructed to call us - he didn't call until AFTER he accepted the offer. Well the judge finally ruled against us. So now we are stuck taking this low amount or we have to appeal in order to get the judges reasons in writing, and to have a leg to stand on to go after our former attorney for all the money he lost us by doing such a rotten job. The wheels of justice turn VERY slowly and we think they are rusted in place actually. Right now we don't have a lot of hope that we will ever see justice this side of heaven.
Please pray for us as we are very discouraged. We have to find a way to keep our business afloat until either the insurance or the trucking company pays us for our losses. We are not expecting anyone to pay without a fight.
Signing off for the weekend.... thank you all for holding us up in prayer. We need it.
Karen
Please pray for us as we are very discouraged. We have to find a way to keep our business afloat until either the insurance or the trucking company pays us for our losses. We are not expecting anyone to pay without a fight.
Signing off for the weekend.... thank you all for holding us up in prayer. We need it.
Karen
Monday, October 22, 2007
Glimmers of Hope
#1 - Got a call from our attorney Friday (yes that in itself is some sort of miracle!), and he reported that Judge Allen in Phila court called him to say she was making her ruling "momentarily".... so it is on its way to our attorney now by mail, we assume he will get it by Wednesday. She had been holding our case since May, deciding if we could refuse to accept a low settlement offer from the trucking company that our prior attorney accepted without our consent last October!!! If she rules for us, we get a new trial. If she rules against us we get the low settlement or have to appeal. Either way it is better than NOTHING happening for a year!
#2 - My family doctor called me today to say that she got my CAT scan report and it was all clear again! I had called the oncologist on Friday for the results and they said that they never give those out over the phone, incase it is bad news or incase the doctor sees something on the films that the radiologist did not see. :-/ I can understand what they mean, and I was ok with waiting until I see the doctor tomorrow to find out the results. If it was bad news not knowing for a few more days was worth the wait. But since my family doctor took it upon herself to call me I was happy to hear at least those preliminary results.
PLEASE KEEP PRAYING for the insurance company to do the right thing and pay us for our financial / business losses from the long ago truck accident. What a relief that would be!
Karen
#2 - My family doctor called me today to say that she got my CAT scan report and it was all clear again! I had called the oncologist on Friday for the results and they said that they never give those out over the phone, incase it is bad news or incase the doctor sees something on the films that the radiologist did not see. :-/ I can understand what they mean, and I was ok with waiting until I see the doctor tomorrow to find out the results. If it was bad news not knowing for a few more days was worth the wait. But since my family doctor took it upon herself to call me I was happy to hear at least those preliminary results.
PLEASE KEEP PRAYING for the insurance company to do the right thing and pay us for our financial / business losses from the long ago truck accident. What a relief that would be!
Karen
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