Church

Last week the visiting nurse said she strongly recommended I did not try to go to church yet, I would become too exhausted, my immunity was too low, my hemoglobin still low, my body too weak, I would risk catching a virus on top of the job of healing, etc. So when she came again on Tuesday I didn't ask her if THIS week would be ok to go to church - teehee. I just waited to see how I felt and I do feel stronger than a week ago, and I was really needing to get out of the house. Emotionally, I have not been able to do so many "normal" things, I just really miss it. And I hadn't been to church since May 27th! Charles and I decided my physical protection wasn't as important now as my emotional and spiritual well-being, and I was a week stronger, right?

So I got to go to the worship service today. Unfortunately the service wasn't the most cheerful since the sermon and music were on the minor prophet Amos and crying out to the Lord in repentance and such - OH BOY! Wish I had come on a "Daniel in the Lion's Den" week! But it was great to be there, to be out and about, to be hugged by some dear friends...... and church attendance was a bit low due to the holiday so my visiting nurse will be happy I was not attacked by 100 germ carrying huggers!

After church I rested at my brother and his wife's home until the rest of my family finished their classes, nursery helper jobs etc and then we had a nice lunch and quiet visit together. All my kids were there, even the married ones and their husbands. And my brother's lazy-boy is as comfy as mine but the change of scenery and all the wonderful kids playing and stuff was very therapeutic for me. We even brought two nieces home to sleepover. They are making my kids happy and playing so nicely together - it makes things seem almost "normal" again.

This week I hope to feel up to going to the famous downtown Broomall July 4th parade. I threatened to make Charles and the kids drive my lazy-boy up to West Chester Pike and plant me there. Now THAT's a way to embarrass your teenagers! No, a lawn chair will be fine for a few hours.

Please pray for me this week as I have still had some waves of fear about the future that really drag me down. I know this is a phase I am going through that I have to get past. I look forward to being back in the peaceful place of comfort and complete trust in God's care for me that I was in prior to surgery, so please pray that I would allow the Lord to give me that peace. My fleshly type A gotta be in control self is fighting valiantly against the peace that I need. And my "nurse lady, investigate all the options, get Penn to give me an appointment the day after the Fox Chase appointment" self is just adding to that stress. I need to let go and let God lead the way. Not that I will not still call for info and such. I just need to stop striving to fix this cancer myself and decide that I am in the Lord's hands. Easier said than done but I know HE can teach me to do it, even though I am a slow learner on this one! I am sure it will be an ongoing struggle that I have to repeatedly turn over to Him.

Otherwise, on a practical note, I want to get moving more. I have figured out that I have to walk around a lot more. Even though I am not supposed to lift and twist and bend or do any heavy things at all, I CAN WALK and really I am uncomfortable if I sit too long in many kinds of chairs anyway. So I think I need to try to move around a lot more each day to start building up my stamina again. I will feel better emotionally that way too, I am sure. Only one appt this week at my family doctor for a BP check and bloodwork. Next week I have Fox Chase and hopefully Penn appts which will give us a lot more info about what to do about treatment.

THANK YOU all for continuing to hold us together - the meals 5 days this week were a HUGE help. We really needed it. And the leftovers are almost gone - kept us fed for lunches and the weekend! Next week meals each day too, and then hopefully after that i will be a little more on top of things so we will be back to three a week.

I am starting a scripture journal for my journey - if you have ideas feel free to post on the blog or send to my regular email. I know they would be an encouragement to me.

Love,
Karen